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The Haven Management

Something I want to add...

Ben and Jock,

 

Something else I want you to know is that deep, deep in my soul I appreciate that you never told me or others what to do or how to live.  You offered your experience, your insights, your philosophy, then went about your own lives, holding me able to learn about my own.

Thank you.

 

Lynn Nixon

A Tribute

Dear Ben&Jock,

 

As I was writing this letter, the phrase came to mind:  For a good time…call Ben and Jock.  Because, boys, you sure give good personal development.

 

To paraphrase something I once read – when I was ready to learn, a teacher appeared – and there you both were.  "To teach:  impart knowledge, cause to learn by example or experience; show, present, point out."  "Educare: to lead out."

 

I thank you from deep in my heart for sharing your life's work, your passion, your knowledge, your learning, your respect for knowledge, your humanness with me.

 

I first came to Haven at the suggestion of a friend at a time when I had decided to take my own life.  I had Plan A and backup Plan B.  At the time, life seemed to be a dark, bottomless canyon I was falling into.  I had given over my life to what I thought other people wanted of me.  I blamed others for what I saw as the barrenness of my life.  I wallowed in my own depression.

My whole life changed with that very first day of "my" Come Alive.  Even though it took a long time for it to "take" with me, I started to see a glimmer of possibilities.  Over time, as I went away to digest what I had learned here, I came back to what I have always thought of as my university.  A lot of my experience here has been painful, a lot of it has been fun.  And I started to see how full my life could be, if I chose to live it.

 

I have profound gratitude for you for offering your philosophies and experiences of life; for showing me different ways of making contact with people than I had been experiencing; for offering me new definitions of the words breathe, embodiment, self-responsibility, being personal, choice, boundaries, curiosity, empathy, compassion, love, and, in fact, introducing me to the concept that I could actually make these words into verbs, into ways of participating in life.  You helped me to realize that to remain a closed off, walled-up, war-like person meant I would remain miserable and unhealthy myself, and to realize that my remaining like that would contribute to a meaner, nastier world.  In looking back, I give myself credit for continuing to search for a way out of my despair – and I think now that I really didn't want to kill myself, that I must have had faith that there was a rich life possible.  And I find it is so.  And amongst those riches is a loving relationship with a caring, lovely man – a relationship I might have tossed away had I continued to believe myself an unworthy human being.

 

You have shown me by example what it is to accept my humanness, in all aspects – light and dark; and to accept others' humanness, and to recognize that my judgements come from my own being, not other's doing.

 

I have always noticed and appreciated the care you take with details in the workshops, your complete professionalism, integrity, and respect.  I also have noticed the care with which you took of the Haven property.  Because of your example, I recycle and compost.  I recently learned that you left the trees and other flora intact when you were building on the property.  I wasn't surprised.

 

Along with all the past terrific 24 years of knowing you two truly fun guys, some of my most joyful and insightful moments have been while interning programs at the Haven.  Until recently, I hadn't thought of participating as an intern as "paying forward" the riches I have received, because I have had so much personal benefit from being an intern.  To participate, in any way, so that others may receive the gifts in life that I have received from you is an honour.

 

I also want to thank you for making the Haven Foundation possible.  Having the Haven as a place in which to find a "haven" has been so valuable to me.  And the reality of having such an institution is that it needs money.  In the same way interning is an honour for me, so is being able to contribute financially, whenever I am able.

 

Thank you, Ben and Jock, for your skill, your art, your grace and your beauty.  I have always seen your work together as a beautiful, intricate, fluid ballet.

 

I thank you for your unsentimentally loving spirit.

 

 

Lynn (Parmenter) Nixon

Blog for Ben & Jock

"It was a dark and stormy night". Actually, it was
more like a warm and sunny summer day, some 25 years
ago. Stepping into the Taylor Bay Fishing Lodge, I
wondered if the "dads" had lost their minds. This was
no Cold Mountain. It wasn't even an April Point
Lodge. Only the main lodge and 4 or 5 small buildings
were to be found on the property at that time. And
this was to become a human growth centre? But the two
of you had your hands on the property less than 2
months, and there was already evidence of what was to
come. And 25 years later, the fullness of your vision
can not only be seen in the property that you built,
but can be felt on the land that you nurtured. Having
read through this blog, there are numerous
inspirational and heart felt stories of how you have
helped so many people realize the depth of what lay
within themselves. But for me, your greatest gift has
been to show me what can be accomplished if you have
faith in one another, and faith in yourself. It has
been so much fun to watch this journey evolve for you,
and to take part in the trip from time to time. And it
is with great curiosity that I watch and see what the
next 25 years hold for the two of you!

Love
Kevin

My dear Ben and Jock,

I love this beautiful, challenging, joyful quote from Rumi - "Let
everyone climb up on their roofs and sing their note. Sing loud!"
It describes, for me, your fabulous journey and glorious
contribution. In your unique and creative way you have invited and
guided countless souls to find and sing their note. The music you
hear is the result of the two of you - first quietly on your island
drawing people to you, now moving out in broader and broader circles,
touching and blessing countless lives - tuning the orchestra,
creating harmony, loving and uncovering love. The work you do is
mighty!!
To quote Leonard Cohen - " It is good to have among us such men, such
balancing MONSTERS OF LOVE."
It is impossible to measure the impact of our connection and
friendship on my life. I am wildly grateful and love you both
madly! Joanne Cimbalo

Deepest thanks

Dearest Ben and Jock.

I was honoured to be part of the Janaury 1 celebrations of the Haven's
25 years on Gabriola. I salute you and the work you have done with
such love over so many years.

I want to just briefly tell you that you have made an unprecedented
contribution to my life. Without you, my dear husband, John, and I
would not have experienced the heights of joy, intimacy, and self-
discovery that we reveled in together. Nor could we have navigated the
journey of John's dying with such open-heartedness and loving. If that
was all you had contributed, it would be more than enough. But now our
son and his lovely fiancee are also embracing the Haven way. And so I
thank you, dear friends, for all that you contributed to me and to
John in life and in his dying, and all that you are passing along to
the next generation. Even though Michael and Angela have not yet met
you, I hope one day they will have that privilege, and I look forward
to seeing you again.

With deep loving and appreciation,
Judy Hancock

Your Magnificent Contribution

Dear, dear Ben & Jock,

It is certainly an honour and privilege to know you and to think about your magnificent contribution to humankind
 
Your dedication to bringing peace, light, freedom, justice and truth to each individual you meet has enabled thousand and thousands to become WHOLE.
 
Each you encountered has gone on to be of service to so,so,so many...Your message has caught on...near and far. And now so many feel comfortable enough to "shout from the roof tops" that all are worthy, all are meant to be in at - one-ment.
 
You are an inspiration dear Ben & Jock to all of us and I am grateful to know you on earth and to know your true friendship.
 
John and Sister Leona and the entire SSF-IIIHS congratulate you and thank you and wish you many more 100% healthy years to continue to service The Lord!
 
OM & PREM
 
Marilyn Rossner